I have always been intrigued by language. I have always picked up new languages rather quickly. I am currently learning a new language… in fact I am practically fluent in it. The problem is that I seem to be the only person who can speak this language. For some reason, I have felt like nobody is really understanding me this semester and it has been frustrating.
Everyone at this point has probably thought “Ew, another teenage angst post.” That is a pretty fair judgement, but I do genuinely mean what I am saying. I am at an interesting place in my life as many of you know. I have transitioned to college, and I have been doing a lot of discovering this year. I have discovered myself, discovered my friends, discovered my future, and even discovered how my past is still effecting me. Through all of this change and exploration, I have definitely developed my own language in a sense. I obviously don’t mean this literally, but I have started to view the world in different ways. I feel like there are not a lot of people–if any person–who sees anything the way that I do right now. My favorite activity lately has been to sit on a bench, or a set of stairs, or really anywhere outside and just take everything in. With my headphones plugged in, world tuned out, and my thoughts on full blast, I feel kind of untouchable. I take in the colors, the people, and just observe. Sometimes I have deep thoughts, and sometimes I just enjoy the silence of my mind.
Life is a truly amazing thing. It feels as if it goes on forever, but it is actually flying by so fast. As the popular quote goes, “Today is the youngest you will ever be, and the oldest you have ever been.” Although my life has been relatively short, it is all I have known and so when I reflect back on all that has happened, it is amazing to pick out the events that shaped me. My language development skills have been a long time coming I think. The only person who can understand and speak my language right now is the God who understands and speaks all languages. I can only hope that he will soon place someone in my midst who can share this special language with me…. but at this stage in life I am really leaning into God and figuring out what that looks like for me. Now that I have spewed my thoughts all over this page, I think I will rest a little better tonight.